The Story
Anyone who takes a look at my career from the outside, especially if they’re deeply interested in ski racing, might say that I’ve had a quite respectable journey as an athlete. I’ve had some minor successes in junior-skiing, with some national titles, but also was competing at the European Cup/Nor-Am Cup (second division), was 3x NCAA All-American, Giant Slalom MVP, Regional Champion, as well a couple of World Cup starts and had the honor of representing my country at World Championships, twice. Considering coming from parents who were and met as war refugees, and growing up with no money – by all means – my career was not nothing.
However, recently, when I had a very honest conversation with myself, at home, where, for the first time in a while, I’ve had this classic “Why didn’t I kick myself in the ass more?”-thought. When I was a kid, and I mean middle-school, I was so far off and behind the kids in my age in the sport, that I still envy my dad and mom for believing in me enough to let me continue. I mean, I was barely in the Top 30 in the Tyrolean region, at that time. I’ve gotten rejected from ski-middle-school (a boarding school for winter-sport athletes, in Neustift, Austria) three times. So, back then, I knew I had to work really hard to even have a chance to get into ski-high-school. And I, actually, managed to do so. In high school, I’ve started getting moderately good – last year of junior skiing: won Croatian Nationals, got a podium in the Tyrolean Cup, and was, by all means, on the up and competing with guys who were miles away from me, just a year or two ago. Into FIS (which, for anyone not familiar with skiing, is the first real deal – you compete against anyone, of any level, at any age, who shows up at a race): got some podiums in my first years, and was better in some areas than the guys in my age around me, even managed to get a silver medal at the EYOF (European Youth Olympic Festival) – the first big event I was ever at – and for a second, there, was even ranked among the best three in the world, in my age.
What happened? I started getting comfortable, thinking that “this is where I’m supposed to be anyways”, not pushing myself hard enough, etc. etc. How many sessions I’ve cheated out of. And, recently, I’ve wondered how come nobody saw that? Without it being anyone’s fault but mine, I was only 16-17. Unlucky circumstances – boohoo, cry me a river. Maybe it was because I made coaches/parents/people around me think that I was working hard, instead of actually doing it. Skipping the last interval (or not going hard enough), taking it chill because “I’m too exhausted to do another session”, etc. I think around then is when I started to take shit more seriously. All of a sudden, things didn’t come that easily anymore, and I had to put more work in – again; or so I thought.
Looking back on it, I probably didn’t start taking shit seriously until I was 22-23 years old – so, the last two three years of my career. Which brings me to today, and my mission with this project.
My passion (or goal) is to help athletes, especially younger ones, to learn from, not only, my experiences as an athlete, but also from what I’ve learned as a student of Psychology and Neuroscience. To understand that truly trying means going out there, even if it’s less than you think, and still trying to push a little bit. Maybe you only have 5% that day. You feel like you’re walking “manually”, dazed; even though your coach (assuming/hoping you have a good one) knows you well enough that they say “you’ve got a little more in you”. And you’re thinking of skipping the session, because you’re telling yourself you’re “too tired and it’s not worth it, anyways”? Then I’m the guy who will try and help you understand that that’s the moment that those 5% are still a hell of a lot more than fucking 0.
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